“Red Flags” and Warning Signs of Intimate Partner Violence

Does your partner:

  • Insist on knowing where you are at all times?
  • Push for the relationship to move too quickly?
  • Discourage your relationships with friends and family?
  • Want you all to themselves?
  • Check your phone for unknown numbers or messages?
  • Disregard your personal boundaries?
  • Constantly criticize your actions or decisions?
  • Blame you for everything that goes wrong?
  • Humiliate or insult you in front of others?
Illustration of a hand symbol for domestic abuse: The signal is performed by holding your hand up with your thumb tucked into your palm, then folding your fingers down, symbolically trapping your thumb in your fingers.

What is Intimate Partner Violence?

Intimate Partner Violence, formerly known as Domestic Violence, is a pattern of coercive and controlling behavior that includes physical abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, sexual abuse and/or financial abuse between two partners (NNEDV, 2017). In addition, some abusers are able to control their victims without ever using violence but by subtle threats of violence instead.

Photo of an upset women
What Does Intimate Partner Violence Look Like?

Physical abuse can take many forms, including:

  • Hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, strangling, smothering, or other actions that cause physical harm
  • Using or threatening to use weapons
  • Throwing objects
  • Destroying property
  • Harming or killing pets
  • Denying access to medical care
Photo of an upset young black man.
What Does Sexual Abuse Look Like?

Sexual abuse can include:

  • Physically forcing someone to engage in sex
  • Creating fear around saying ‘no’ to sex
  • Forcing sex with other partners
  • Coercing participation in demeaning or degrading sexual acts
  • Using violence or name-calling during sex
  • Denying access to contraception or protection against sexually transmitted diseases
Photo of two woman, tense, in the back alley.
What Does Emotional Abuse Look Like?

Emotional abuse can include:

  • Constant criticism
  • Name-calling or put-downs
  • Making you feel crazy or gaslighting
  • Acting superior or condescending
  • Minimizing the abuse or blaming you for their behavior
  • Isolating you from friends and family
  • Excessive jealousy or accusing you of having affairs
  • Monitoring where you go and who you talk to
Photo of a couple at home after having a fight.
What Does Financial Abuse Look Like?

Financial abuse can include:

  • Controlling your access to money by giving you an allowance
  • Refusing to let you have your own money
  • Hiding family assets
  • Running up debt in your name
  • Interfering with your ability to work
  • Damaging your credit
  • Photo of a girl having trouble sleeping at night holding pillow covering her head and ears, upset
Get Help for Intimate Partner Violence

If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, remember, you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Hilltop’s Latimer House offers ongoing support to anyone facing or recovering from intimate partner violence, providing safety, trust, advocacy, and care.

Do any of these behaviors sound familiar?

  • Destroying personal or sentimental items
  • Constant accusations of infidelity
  • Pinching, pushing, shaking, pulling, punching, kicking, strangling, restraining, or throwing you
  • Denying medical care after an outburst
  • Threatening to harm you, your children, or pets
  • Forcing you into unwanted sexual acts or threatening you if you refuse sex
  • Withholding affection or calling you sexual names

If any of these apply to you or a loved one, reach out for help. Hilltop Domestic Violence Services has trained, compassionate staff ready to support you on your journey to healing, recovery, personal growth, and empowerment. You are not alone—reach out today.

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